S(t)ea(l) Fever

I must go down to the shops again,
To the shops on Kensington High,
And all I want is some Xboxes
And a streetlight to loot ‘em by,
And some iPhones and some ciggies
And the owners’ fists shaking,
And a laptop and a plasma TV,
And some windows breaking.

I must go down to the shops again,
For the call of the looting crowd
Is a wild call and a clear call,
If technically not allowed.
And all we ask is for cops to stand
Around as the bricks are flying,
And as the stock of the local shops walks out
Amidst their owners’ crying.

I must go down to the shops again,
With the other smiling chavs,
To Curry’s and the Apple Store
To see what we can have;
And all I ask is a bit of a larf
With a cackling fellow looter,
As we ‘elp ourselves to someone’s stuff
‘Cause they ain’t allowed a shooter.

With apologies to John Masefield, though if ‘e ‘adn’t jus’ left the original jus’ lyin’ aroun’ like then I wouldn’ta nicked it, would I?

12 comments for “S(t)ea(l) Fever

  1. August 16, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    Sheer genius!

  2. meltemian
    August 16, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    Love it!!!! 😀

  3. F***W*T TW****R
    August 16, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    It’s the 👿 in you that made you write it 😆

  4. August 16, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    Poor old Masefield, what did he do to deserve it? 😉

  5. dearieme
    August 16, 2011 at 12:32 pm


  6. August 16, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    Dunno that Masefiled deserved me hacking his work up like that, but it had to be done really.

  7. August 16, 2011 at 12:44 pm

    You’re talking just like an MP.

  8. August 16, 2011 at 12:47 pm


  9. August 16, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    /applause 😀

  10. Catherine in Athens
    August 16, 2011 at 6:42 pm


  11. Fred Forsythe (not the)
    August 18, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Is that rap?

    • August 18, 2011 at 10:20 am

      No, mate. It’s the truth. 🙂

Comments are closed.