Technology – Yr Doin’ It Wrong…

Oh, I do love it when a newspaper announces a technological use, and gets it wrong. I love it, because it happens so often…

Pensioners on mobility scooters could be tracked by satellite as part of radical plans to use technology to slash spending on social care. The scooters would be fitted with GPS systems – with relatives able to log on to the internet to pinpoint their loved one if they became lost, confused or upset.


As the readers of this blog will no doubt have spotted, fitting GPS to Grandad’s mobility scooter won’t actually tell you where Grandad is. It’ll tell you where Grandad’s mobility scooter is.

So, if you log on and see a little green tracking blip at the side of the local park’s lake, don’t assume Grandad’s feeding the ducks, bless his dear old heart. Because Grandad might be going down for the third time in the deep water with a mouthful of pondweed…

Council chiefs in Manchester are also looking at extending the practice of sending text messages to people with dementia to remind them to take medicine.

Fantastic idea! I can’t wait until they extend this to the paranoid schizophrenics!

“Hey, you! Yes, you! We’re watching you, you know….”

5 comments for “Technology – Yr Doin’ It Wrong…

  1. Twenty_Rothmans
    August 28, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    Will they be using their GPS systems to go to ATM machines, where they’ll need to provide their PIN numbers?

  2. August 28, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Because Grandad might be going down for the third time in the deep water with a mouthful of pondweed…


  3. August 28, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    SMS messages to people with dementia? 😯 Good grief, have they bothered to run this past people who actually do geriatric care? In the early stages maybe, but I know old folk who are still sharp who wouldn’t know know what a text message is and couldn’t read the bloody thing even if they did. As for the ones whose minds have gone and can’t remember as far back as their most recent meal even though they can recall the third Tuesday in June in 1936 (possibly because they think it is the third Tuesday in June, 1936), forget it. As I understand it you get meds into the cooperative ones by giving them meds and tea and telling them to swallow, and into the uncooperative ones I guess by putting it in food and not telling them. Text messaging? You might as well send an email to the cat asking him to present himself at the vets on Monday to have his knackers removed.

  4. August 28, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    I’m sure sending texts to dementia sufferers would work.

    If they could remember what a text is, or remember what the text meant, or could remember what medication they should be taking or how much to take or when to take it, or even remember if they took it 10 minutes ago. It may work if they could remember to keep their mobile phone with them at all times, or even remember what a mobile phone is.

    You know policy is being made by 20-somethings with no idea of their subject matter when idiot suggestions like this is actually considered.

  5. Chuckles
    August 29, 2011 at 9:31 am

    ‘It’ll tell you where Grandad’s mobility scooter is.’

    Nope, a GPS receiver will tell Grandad where Grandad’s mobility scooter is.
    The reporter has a very strange idea of how GPS works, seemingly thinking that the US military would be interested in the position of a mobility scooter in Manchester. Said position being somehow magically relayed up to the GPS satellites by the satnav, and then fortuitously and conveniently appearing when one ‘logs on’ to the internet.

    Rather postmodern, and quite remarkable performance for what are essentially ‘chatty orbiting clocks’.

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