Random Urine Tests for Government Ministers?

I received the following circular email, originally from an oil rig worker in the North Sea:

The Urine Test

I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to earn that pay cheque, I work on a rig for a drilling contractor. I am required to pass a random urine test for drugs and alcohol, with which I have no problem. … What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don’t have to pass a urine test. Shouldn’t one have to pass a urine test to get a benefits cheque because I have to pass one to EARN IT for them? Please understand that I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their a**e drinking beer and smoking dope. Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a benefit cheque? Please pass this along if you agree or simply delete it if you don’t. Hope you will pass it along though, because something has to change in the UK!!!

This made me think! Why not random urine tests for all Government Ministers. In view of the present inter-connected world, additionally for Cabinet Ministers these should also encompass random spot weekend checks at home!

Given the state of our three main political parties, the low calibre of those who crawl through their processes to stand for parliament and the likely consequent nature of the most successful among them who eventually climb to the top, considerable future damage could be avoided ,at far less cost than by applying such tests to the huge army of benefit receivers who have been thrust upon us by  misgovernment in the past.

Misgovernment ,some of which perhaps, could best be explained by legislation (and/or executive decision making,) which could surely only have been dreamt up under the influence of some strange substance of one kind or another. How else could our country have arrived at this pass?

12 comments for “Random Urine Tests for Government Ministers?

  1. September 23, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    Not bad. We need to find the root cause of why they are like they are … or even if they’re human at all [da-dum].

  2. Twenty_Rothmans
    September 23, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    Alan Clark performed admirably after a long lunch (that fat,ugly incompetent bitch Clare Short described him as ‘incapable).

    The world would be a better place if our parliamentarians showed up too pissed to dream up new rules.

  3. September 23, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    Thought you might like to know that we touched on that subject and set up an e-petition here, a few weeks ago 😉

    • September 23, 2011 at 6:08 pm

      Sorry, Max – first time commenter, WordPress, moderation. You’re in now, lad. 😉

  4. Chuckles
    September 23, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    They certainly seem to spend an inordinate amount of time extracting such from the populace.

    • September 24, 2011 at 6:26 am


  5. nisakiman
    September 23, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    I’d tend to go with Twenty_Rothmans on this one.

    When you consider what Churchill achieved whilst imbibing industrial quantities of Champagne and brandy, it would seem to be a positive, rather than negative factor in politics and leadership. On reflection, perhaps a urine test isn’t such a bad idea after all – there could be a rule that if an MP wasn’t at least twice over the legal driving limit, then he wouldn’t be allowed to address the House.

    You never know, we might just see some common sense creeping in, alcohol being a great liberator of the tongue. The whips would diminish in power, and MPs would perhaps say what they really think, rather than what they think their leaders want them to think. In fact the more I think about it, the more I like the idea… 😈

    If nothing else, it would be good for a laugh!

    • Mudplugger
      September 23, 2011 at 8:51 pm

      Was it not Churchill, when accused by a lady member of being drunk, replied, “And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning I shall be sober”.

      • September 24, 2011 at 6:26 am

        It was.

  6. Steve W
    September 23, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    To every side of this multi-way discussion as to who should be tested for what, can I just say –

    It’s none of your or anyone else’s business what I do or don’t put into my body, so fuck off and worry about yourselves. Sanctioning compulsory drug testing for anyone is about as deep and disgusting a removal of one’s right and authority over one’s own body. Take your sample from my bloated, malformed smoke riddle circulatory system after I’m dead, but for now, just leave me be.

  7. September 23, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    Bad idea all round. We acquiesce in the control freakery of living under a state which interfers in so many areas it has no business in, and then we look at those thumbing their nose at the system and want Big Brother to give them a cuff round the ear.

    Drive the state back within its legitimate boundaries and all the unpleasant symptoms will disappear.

  8. September 24, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    Let those who are part of, or depend upon the state take random urine tests to ensure they’re not taking the piss out of the rest of us. Happy thought. 😈

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