You’re Too Fat, Dear

We are far too circumspect when it comes to telling others what we think about their spare tyre, it seems. Experts (ex as in past and a spurt being a little drop of liquid) are seeing this time of the year as an opportunity to market their obsession with obesity –  well, they don’t do it for the rest of the year, right?

Okay, so maybe they do, just a little bit… Anyway, these experts feel that you and I should be taking up the challenge and telling others that they are risking their health by being overweight.

Christmas may be a time of indulging for many, but health experts believe it is the perfect time to tell a loved one they are overweight.

I suppose when people break open the bottles of wine, we must also have a whine about that, too. Living, it seems, is a minefield of health risks. Eat too much and you die. Eat too little and the same will happen. Salt, sugar, cross-dressing fats, alcohol, baccy they are all on the list and we will die if we indulge too much. Come to that, we die anyway. There may be a flaw in the argument here.

Still, I digress.

Being overweight – particularly around the waist – increases the risk of diabetes, heart disease and stroke.

Oh, the horror. Although, I suspect that a spare tyre is unlikely to result in such catastrophe. A few extra pounds is not the same thing as obesity. And, indeed, there is a tendency for folk to add a few pounds during middle age. It happened to me. For years I was  scrawny 9 stone until I hit forty, whereupon I put on nearly a stone. I don’t know how or why as my eating and exercise habits didn’t change. Put it down to metabolism.

But a poll by the groups suggests too many people shy away from the issue.

Really? That does surprise me. I’d never have guessed. So… Why?

The survey of more than 2,000 people found 42% of 18 to 24-year-olds would not tell a loved one they should lose weight because of a fear they would hurt the other person’s feelings.

Uh, huh. Or is it, perhaps, that unlike the experts, most of us consider such things as none of our concern? And, maybe like me, they realise that a spare tyre isn’t due to an unhealthy diet, but a slowing down of the metabolism resulting in more fat being stored. Even so, it isn’t a big deal.

But with families and friends getting together up and down the country over the festive period, the experts believe there is an opportunity that should not be missed.

Yeah, that’s right, slap bang in the middle of a family get together crack open the party killer and tell someone they are fat. That’ll go down well, won’t it?

Prof David Haslam, chair of the National Obesity Forum, said: “Suggesting to someone that they should consider losing a few pounds may not be a comfortable conversation to have.”

This is probably because a smack in the mouth hurts somewhat.

9 comments for “You’re Too Fat, Dear

  1. john in cheshire
    December 21, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    What is Mr Haslam’s BMI? Is he a fat t**t or is he a neurotic skeleton?

  2. December 21, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    ‘a smack in the mouth hurts somewhat…’

    …but not half as much as a ruined Christmas and implacable resentment; January is already boom time for divorce lawyers.

    This looks rather like a riposte to Cameron’s propsed tax breaks for married couples.

  3. Dave G
    December 21, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    That should be “ex as in ‘has-been’ and spurt as in ‘a drip under pressure'”

    • ivan
      December 21, 2011 at 9:06 pm

      Or even ‘x is the unknown quantity and a spurt is a drip under pressure’, from the very early 60s.

      • Maaarrghk!
        December 22, 2011 at 11:11 am

        Methinks Dave has been digging out his old Blaster Bates LP’s.

  4. December 21, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    health experts believe it is the perfect time to tell a loved one they are overweight.

    Clearly not a Health’n’Safety expert.

  5. December 22, 2011 at 12:34 am

    Yes, and of course there’s little irony in the idea of a fat bastard in a red suit bringing your loved one a dieting book on your behalf. How about a new Christmas tradition: Christmas is a time of year for telling the self appointed experts to fuck off? Actually, no. We should be telling them that year round.

  6. December 22, 2011 at 8:58 am

    *ring ring*

    *Yes, local proctologists department*

    *what’s that, sir? A Christmas tree? No, I don’t think we ever have…*

  7. Tattyfalarr
    December 22, 2011 at 9:53 am

    because of a fear they would hurt the other person’s feelings.

    “Hurt their feelings”…yeahhh that’s why…nothing whatsoever to do with ever wanting to get laid by their other half again. 😉

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