Perhaps The Saddest News Story I’ve Ever Seen…

A bus station has been deemed ‘one of the safest in Britain’ after becoming only the third in Lancashire to pick a quality award.

Burnley’s bus station has received the SafeMark award which assures passengers it is an area where they can feel safe.

Yes, we now, apparently, have awards given based on how safe you feel at a bus stop. And the winners are proud of it. How did it come to this?

“It’s a bit like getting a Michelin star,” said David Woodroffe, group passenger facilities manager with bus operator Transdev Blazefield.

“It’s a big honour for the bus station and reflects all the hard work that’s gone into making it as safe as possible for everyone who uses it.”

No, David, it’s not anything like getting Michelin star, FFS!

The bus station was visited by ‘mystery shoppers’ and marked against a series of criteria, including health and safety, CCTV coverage, staff training and measures in place to tackle anti-social behaviour.

The judges looked at issues such as making sure there are no dark corners where people could lurk or the design and monitoring of toilets to tackle any illegal activities.

*gives up*

9 comments for “Perhaps The Saddest News Story I’ve Ever Seen…

  1. Maaarrghk!
    January 30, 2012 at 10:14 am

    Foor yoor comfoort and safety, cee cee tee vee is in operation in this station.

    Or as Frank Zappa said, “You’ll love it. It’s a way of life!”

    • Steve W
      January 30, 2012 at 10:49 pm

      He also said “Remember, there’s a big difference between kneeling down and bending over”. I’m not sure why, but that seems oddly apposite as I imagine the cost of this ridiculous ‘award’ scheme is being borne by the passengers (and taxpayers in terms of ‘free’ bus passes) and neither is likely to be aware of how firmly they’re getting shafted.

  2. January 30, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    I do love these special interest awards, given out by thier own trade body.

    “Huzzah everyone, we have been voted No.1 Concrete Polisher in the UK 2011 by the Concrete Polishers of the UK Association”

    and why this was left to the end?

    The station’s architects, RoC Consulting have previously collected a Bus Industry award for the design of the interchange and its retail units.

    Why it’s almost an Oscar

    • January 31, 2012 at 9:59 pm

      Oscar? Pfft. ‘Tis the Nobel Prize.

  3. January 30, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    It’s the boiling frog principle – so slowly inured that people have no clue what’s right or wrong any more.

  4. January 30, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    Come on, now. I have had the rare privilege of actually waiting for a bus at Burnley’s bus station. It’s a very nice station indeed, and I commend them for their little award. I also commend them for the nice historical touch of painting witches on their buses to commemorate the poor ladies burnt on Pendle Hill.

    • January 31, 2012 at 5:50 am

      They do?!? 🙄

      • February 1, 2012 at 11:01 pm

        Indeed they do. I don’t recommend going to Burnley—it’s a bitch to get to, and I could walk faster than the connecting train from Preston—but the buses are quite pleasant.

        • Tarka the Rotter
          February 2, 2012 at 9:38 pm

          Mmmm, pictures of burning witches on the side of buses? Isn’t this rather offensive to the followers of Wicca? Isn’t this incitement to commit acts of violence against old women with warts and cats? Where is Keir Harmer, Hatecrimefinder General, when you need him?

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