For a little bit of light diversion from their Sunday crossword puzzle I offer fellow Orphans and visitors a guessing game. Below are seven précis of news stories, at least one of which might not be entirely factual. But at least one of them is absolutely true. Your mission, should you choose to accept it even though this blog post won’t self destruct either way, is to identify which of them are real and which came from my fevered imagination without Googling to see if you can find them.
1 – A community radio station in rural Victoria has removed the Led Zeppelin classic Stairway to Heaven from its playlist following complaints from evangelist disability rights campaigners who took offence to the idea that the afterlife would not be wheelchair accessible.
2 – A Perfect Pizza franchisee in the West Midlands has been asked to change the name of the shop by representatives of his local mosque on the grounds that only Allah is perfect.
3 – In Nevada TSA agents refused to allow a passenger to board a plane with a small cupcake because the icing met the procedural definition of a gel, prohibited from being taken on board aircraft in case it’s part of an explosive. The passenger was permitted to eat the cupcake.
4 – A supermarket in New Zealand refused a shopper because her groceries included tinfoil, mineral water and disposable biros. The reason was that it’s possible to make a functional DIY bong from these items so they’re not allowed to be sold together.
5 – A man in England crucified a dummy Santa on the side of his house in December to get people thinking about religion and the meaning of Christmas. Police attended after a member of the public found it offensive but did not refer the matter to the CPS.
6 – A US technology firm is developing an ‘alco-lock’ for computers intended to be used to help people in financial difficulties who overspend in online shops after drinking.
7 – Green campaigners in northern California are to petition the state’s legislature to consider banning reversing cameras in cars because of the need to keep them clean leading to more use of car washes, in turn putting greater pressure on dwindling water supplies.
First prize is a photograph of some cigarette packets for you to copy and stick up outside everywhere that will soon be legally prevented from showing actual cigarette packets.