Puzzle corner – Sunday Mugnificent Seven

For a little bit of light diversion from their Sunday crossword puzzle I offer fellow Orphans and visitors a guessing game. Below are seven prΓ©cis of news stories, at least one of which might not be entirely factual. But at least one of them is absolutely true. Your mission, should you choose to accept it even though this blog post won’t self destruct either way, is to identify which of them are real and which came from my fevered imagination without Googling to see if you can find them.

1 – A community radio station in rural Victoria has removed the Led Zeppelin classic Stairway to Heaven from its playlist following complaints from evangelist disability rights campaigners who took offence to the idea that the afterlife would not be wheelchair accessible.

2 – A Perfect Pizza franchisee in the West Midlands has been asked to change the name of the shop by representatives of his local mosque on the grounds that only Allah is perfect.

3 – In Nevada TSA agents refused to allow a passenger to board a plane with a small cupcake because the icing met the procedural definition of a gel, prohibited from being taken on board aircraft in case it’s part of an explosive. The passenger was permitted to eat the cupcake.

4 – A supermarket in New Zealand refused a shopper because her groceries included tinfoil, mineral water and disposable biros. The reason was that it’s possible to make a functional DIY bong from these items so they’re not allowed to be sold together.

5 – A man in England crucified a dummy Santa on the side of his house in December to get people thinking about religion and the meaning of Christmas. Police attended after a member of the public found it offensive but did not refer the matter to the CPS.

6 – A US technology firm is developing an ‘alco-lock’ for computers intended to be used to help people in financial difficulties who overspend in online shops after drinking.

7 – Green campaigners in northern California are to petition the state’s legislature to consider banning reversing cameras in cars because of the need to keep them clean leading to more use of car washes, in turn putting greater pressure on dwindling water supplies.

First prize is a photograph of some cigarette packets for you to copy and stick up outside everywhere that will soon be legally prevented from showing actual cigarette packets.

25 comments for “Puzzle corner – Sunday Mugnificent Seven

  1. February 12, 2012 at 10:22 am

    I’m going out on a limb here, but I think it’s number 3….

    • February 13, 2012 at 5:44 am

      Ah, but you carefully don’t say if you think it’s real or made up. πŸ˜‰ Well done if you thought 3 was real. As Nemesis’ link a few comments down shows, that really did happen. The TSA in Las Vegas think cupcake icing might blow up and will make you eat it, though they’re not at all bothered by the possibility that it might be something made to explode on contact with stomach acids 😈 , while in Boston they recognise the fact that it’s [screams] just a fucking cupcake [/screams].

      • February 13, 2012 at 7:21 am

        Yeah, I could have been clearer, couldn’t I!

  2. john in cheshire
    February 12, 2012 at 11:22 am

    The problem is, they all sound plausible; what a sad state of affairs when things like these could be factual. If I have to choose one that is NOT factual, I’d choose number 7.

    • February 13, 2012 at 5:47 am

      The good news is that most I made up, though the undeniably bad news is that things have gone so mad that it’s really not hard to make up ridiculous stuff that sounds entirely plausible. Number 7 is indeed a made up one, though like the other fictional ones it might turn out to be truer to say it hasn’t happened yet.

  3. February 12, 2012 at 11:29 am

    To be honest, it could be any of them. All far-fetched, but all entirely possible in 2012. Oh, go on then – 7 is a spoof. Possibly.

    • February 13, 2012 at 5:48 am

      What I said to John above.

  4. February 12, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    I’ll go for 3, the TSA would have had to destroy the cupcake as dangerous material, allowing the passenger to eat it sounds unlikely.

    • February 13, 2012 at 5:49 am

      Correct, though they really did let her eat it.

  5. February 12, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Tough one – all could be. I’ll wait and see.

    • February 13, 2012 at 5:51 am

      My goal was for at least one person to look at that list and go ‘Erm, not sure, the world’s gone daft enough that any of them could be true’. Mission accomplished! :mrgreen:

  6. David C
    February 12, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    Can’t believe number one. Can believe all the others.

    • February 13, 2012 at 5:55 am

      Number 1 was made up ages ago, and was inspired by some piece of ridiculous political correctness that really happened (I forget what now – there are so many) that I joked that Stairway to Heaven would soon legally require lift access to played on tax funded radio stations. The others… well, I’m glad I managed to make them believable but most are just as made up.

  7. meltemian
    February 12, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    I’m going for No. 4. Surely things haven’t got that bad in NZ now have they?
    Sadly they’re all too believable.

    • February 13, 2012 at 6:05 am

      Correct: completely made up but absolutely inspired by shops really refusing to sell certain things to certain people because of the off chance that those people will use those things for other than their intended purpose.

  8. nemesis
    February 12, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    Its not 3 – I cheated:

    • February 13, 2012 at 5:38 am

      Disqualified for Googling. πŸ˜† Damn, I thought that one was obscure enough to have escaped attention. Mrs Exile found it on a baking blog or something.

  9. February 12, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    I reckon 5 is real and 6 is false

    • February 13, 2012 at 6:07 am

      Yes, 5 really happened and 6 was a trap because there really were articles a few weeks back about people over spending online when pissed. Nobody’s making a USB breathalyser for it though. At least not so far as I know.

  10. Northern Worker
    February 12, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    I think they’re all true!

    • February 13, 2012 at 6:08 am

      I did promise that at least one was made up, though if I was really sneaky I might have invented that as well. 3 and 5 are true.

  11. Dave_G
    February 12, 2012 at 9:10 pm

    Numbers 1, 2 and 6 seem dubious. But when someone can be asked to prove their age to purchase a SPOON, anything goes……

    • February 13, 2012 at 6:09 am

      Well done, but also 4 and 7.

  12. Voice of Reason
    February 13, 2012 at 12:15 am

    My son and I were both sure sure it was #3, although most of the others wouldn’t surprise me.

    • February 13, 2012 at 6:14 am

      As with JuliaM I’m not sure if you mean 3 is real or made up, but if you’ve seen Nemesis’s comment you’ll know by now that it really happened.

Comments are closed.