“Save Me, EU, You’re My Only Hope!”

In the sickening seconds which followed, I learned that Christian and his friend had been jumping off the windowsill when a loop, which had formed in a venetian blind cord, caught around my son’s neck, leaving him hanging and unable to free himself.

Ah. A familiar story. We’ve seen this before.

Luckily, on this occasion, vigilance was rewarded, and the child suffered no lasting harm.

So…was this woman unaware of the danger?

I in no way blame my friend for what happened. Highly safety-conscious, she had carefully wound the blind cord around a metal cleat beyond the children’s reach.Indeed, most blinds come with these cleats as a safety measure: a wooden or metal fitting that can be fixed to a wall so the cord can be wrapped around it.

Well, hurrah! No? I mean, that was supposed to be the answer, wasn’t it?

But clearly cleats are not infallible, as we discovered. Without a clear account from either boy, we are left to assume that one of them yanked on the wound cord as they stood on the windowsill, oblivious to the fact this left a loop hanging in mid-air, which fast became a deadly noose.

Oh. I see.

So…what to do?

RoSPA does say that the majority of children who suffer blind cord deaths are around two — an age when they are mobile but have no sense of risk or danger.‘Most children killed by blind cords are toddlers who have died in their rooms at a time when their parents thought they were sleeping,’ says RoSPA’s Michael Corley.

‘Our advice to parents is not to put blinds with cords in their children’s bedrooms.’

Sensible advice?

Well, no. Of course not! Only legislation will do!

Campaigners are lobbying the EU to get on with the job of ratifying new safety legislation to ensure all newly manufactured cord blinds come fitted with break connectors.

This would mean that the cord would snap when weight, like that of a child, pulls down on it.

Surely it is high time the EU rubber stamps this important legislation governing blinds. And that parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles fully comprehend the lethal danger hanging at our windows.


So, in future, when your blinds get stuck, don’t give them a sharp tug to free them, eh? Or you’ll have to buy a new set.

Why not start legislating for the edges of all coffee tables to be wrapped in unmoveable foam padding as well, while they are at it? Oh, maybe I shouldn’t give them ideas…

And another generation of cotton-wool-swaddled, risk-averse sheep who expect the world to revolve around them is born.

13 comments for ““Save Me, EU, You’re My Only Hope!”

  1. Edward.
    February 28, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    Ill believe in the EU, when I can believe in the CE mark and that will be on the twelfth of never.

    • March 1, 2013 at 5:22 am


  2. February 28, 2013 at 5:23 pm

    So when the little mites grab the new style cord to climb onto the windowsill, the thing snaps and they plummet to the floor.

    • nisakiman
      February 28, 2013 at 10:45 pm

      No problem. We’ll just lobby for legislation mandating soft rubber floors under all window ledges. They are sure to approve it. After all, it’s for the chiiildren.

      • March 1, 2013 at 5:24 am

        Padded romper suits & hockey-style facemasks for all children under 6! It’s the only way!

        • nisakiman
          March 1, 2013 at 12:19 pm

          Perhaps we should make that “all children under 16”. Can’t be too careful, you know.

  3. Ed P
    February 28, 2013 at 5:23 pm

    Jumping off windowsills is obviously safe as long as there are no blind cords nearby! So why does the EU allow us to have opening windows? Or glass in them – that’s dangerous too!
    Some days I’d like to stay in bed – just thinking about the horrors I’ll encounter if I leave it is frightening: hot water, stairs, kitchen knives, etc., etc.
    It’s a wonder any of us survived childhood without the caring State to guide and guard us…

  4. February 28, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    “Or you’ll have to buy a new set.”

    Or knot the ends together…..

    • March 1, 2013 at 5:25 am

      That’ll be the Scottish option…

  5. Stephen Brown
    March 1, 2013 at 7:01 pm

    Venetian blinds? What’s wrong with curtains, pray tell?
    And why were the little sods allowed to jump from the windowsill in the first place? Doing that would have guaranteed either of my children a swiftly tanned arse.

  6. Tatty
    March 2, 2013 at 4:00 am

    Without the occasional near-miss of a mortal accident there’ll be very little left to remind a breeder they even have a child, at all.

    • March 2, 2013 at 7:45 am

      LOL! How sadly true, though…

  7. Furor Teutonicus
    March 2, 2013 at 6:28 am

    Whats wrong with hanging the wee bastards any way?

Comments are closed.