Solve The Problem I Created, Big Nanny Council!

The head of a Gravesend school yards from where a 12-year-old girl was hit by a car and dragged under a bus this morning is calling for urgent action

Oh, let me guess. Speed restrictions? It is, after all, the usual demand. That, or lollipop patrols.

… to slash the volume of traffic.

Eh..?! How..? What’s causing it?

The section of Rochester Road, between the junctions with Forge Lane and Church Walk is home to a large primary school and two secondary schools with a total of just under 3,000 pupils.

Mr Stanley says the headteachers at St John’s Catholic Primary and Gravesend Grammar are also concerned for the safety for parents and children on that road due to the sheer volume of people during the school run.

Ah! Now it all becomes clear. The volume of traffic is caused by the schools!

Meanwhile, he has also spoken to Gravesham MP Adam Holloway who also has “grave concerns” about the stretch of road which has seen a number of crashes involving school pupils in the past few years.

He said: “It appears this morning’s accident was not caused by the speed of traffic.
“There may have been others in the past, this was more to do with volume.

“It’s nothing new, it’s rather one incident after another.

“I would welcome the opportunity to sit down with the people responsible for transport to see what can be done at certain parts of the day.”

Perhaps you’d like to point out to the headmaster that instructing his little charges to use some road sense might be a better use of his time.

This is a major problem around any school – I was driving recently at school time and about to pass a bus that had pulled in to disgorge its gaggle of crisp-munching, iPhone-fiddling schoolkids. Knowing their habits, I slowed to 15mph as I approached, which was just as well, as a group of 12-13 year old girls in school uniform appeared from the front of the bus, blithely crossing the road without looking – indeed, two of them were chatting, one was on the phone and the other texting.

Laying on the horn brought a sneer over the shoulder of the tallest one that I had only seen previously on the face of my Siamese cat when presented with food she didn’t like.

So I hit the window button and treated her to a run down of her parent’s likely marital status, a critique of her indicative IQ and low-rent dress sense and a prediction for her likely future employment prospects in any non-horizontal role that wiped the smile off her haughty, made-up-like-a-Shepherd-Market-whore face.

But if I hadn’t known the area and had been travelling at normal speed (or just driving like most of the probably unlicensed lackwits), I’d likely have wiped her out, and her equally dim-witted friends…

20 comments for “Solve The Problem I Created, Big Nanny Council!

  1. mr viivid
    March 16, 2013 at 12:07 pm

    I have given up on them.
    I must be getting old – 45

  2. Park and Learn
    March 16, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    The number of children who, when taken to school, are allowed by their caring parents to get out on the road side is astonishing. Often the kids, if they are below eight years old or so, half fall out of the car into the road.

    It also doesn’t help that parents driving their offspring to school like to park on a corner to increase the risk of accidents as other drivers swing wide into the oncoming traffic to even see what’s coming (or where they can park)

    Yep, school days are fun.

    • March 17, 2013 at 6:58 am

      Sometimes I think the US has the right idea, with the dedicated schoolbus.

  3. Furor Teutonicus
    March 16, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    XX But if I hadn’t known the area and had been travelling at normal speed (or just driving like most of the probably unlicensed lackwits), I’d likely have wiped her out, and her equally dim-witted friends…XX

    Pitty. You missed a chance.

    • Mudplugger
      March 16, 2013 at 8:10 pm

      My neighbour had to suffer the effects of a 9-year-old who threw himself under the car’s front wheels a few months ago in similar circumstances. The unfortunate child was badly injured with many fractures.

      Neighbour was immediately detained by Plod, breathalysed (at 9am), aggressively interrogated about his driving standard and record, had his car confiscated (for evidence ?) for 4 days, had his car and every driving document examined in minute detail in an attempt to find some tiny flaw which could be used to blame the driver. (Then even had to pay to recover his car from Plod’s outsourced storage.)

      Fortunately all was in order and, by additional sheer good fortune, a nearby house had CCTV footage of the incident, which my neighbour acquired and presented to Plod, after which they reluctantly accepted that maybe the brat/brat-mother was to blame after all. But would we all be so fortunate ?

      • March 17, 2013 at 7:00 am

        Probably not! Unless, like the Russians, we all go in for dashboard-cameras?

        • Mudplugger
          March 17, 2013 at 9:27 am

          And along with in-built dashboard cameras, we would also get GPS allegedly for ‘road pricing’, along with our switched-on mobile phones, which would show Big Bruv exactly where we were all of the time.
          Well predicted, Eric Blair.

  4. amfortas
    March 16, 2013 at 5:33 pm

    Time for a junior Darwin Award.

    • March 17, 2013 at 6:51 am

      I’ve got a good candidate coming up on my blog on Tuesday!

  5. mona
    March 16, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    Yes, I know the road well how she was not seen by the driver of the car I could not guess and how she missed the wheels of the bus as it went over her is a mystery it was recorded by camera and shown on the internet except where she went under the bus

    • March 17, 2013 at 6:53 am

      I expect she was seen but the driver didn’t expect her to dive under his car!

      • mona
        March 17, 2013 at 3:52 pm

        It was a young woman driver who passed her test three weeks earlier

        • March 18, 2013 at 5:33 am

          Ah, well, that explains that then – when she has driven near schools a bit longer, she will indeed come to expect it!

  6. richard waluk
    March 17, 2013 at 12:19 am

    The safety problem can be easily 100% solved and was already solved in a number of countries. You need to erect a strong stainless steel fence about 1 metre high at the kerbs along all roads (on both sides of each road) near the school. The only break in the fence is at the school crossing where at the “high student voloume” times flags and lolipop is controlling students and the traffic. Public buses stops must be relocated to low traffic side street or be alowed to unload students at the school grounds. And it doesn’t cost much.

    • March 17, 2013 at 6:54 am

      Why go to all that expense? I don’t think we’re talking about losing future brain surgeons here!

  7. Greg Tingey
    March 17, 2013 at 9:24 am

    How about making the little bleeders WALK to school, huh?

    • mona
      March 17, 2013 at 3:53 pm

      she was, and I dont think she was menstruating.

  8. March 17, 2013 at 11:33 am

    While I, for one, would have paid good money to hear your tirade, I should point out for anyone considering doing likewise that today’s teenagers have been well-versed in what it pleases them to call their ‘rights’, which, according to some, include reporting to the authorities any adult who presumes to express a forceful opinion about their activities, however stupid – ‘s verbal abuse, innit? – in the hope of generating some kind of compensation payment.

    • March 18, 2013 at 5:34 am

      Any PCSO coming to my door would likely receive a similar tirade…

  9. Ed P
    March 17, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    A “Soylent Green” deposit point could be placed nearby for any scraps. 😆

Comments are closed.