Oh Noes! Whatever Shall We Do?

Well, how about ‘ignore the prodnoses’ and busybodies..?

A school has been rapped by an alcohol watchdog after it commssioned a beer to celebrate its centenary.


Bacup and Rawtenstall Grammar School sold the beer at a fireworks spectacular evening to mark 100 years of history and a centenary reunion for alumni in March.

But a complaint was made by a concerned resident to the Portman Group, the independent body that promotes responsible drinking, that a bottled beer produced by Ramsbottom’s Irwell Works Brewery, emblazoned with the school’s crest ‘blatantly and explicitly associates their school brand with an alcoholic drink within the school environment and is not age appropriate’.

The Perfect Storm of 2014, a combination of irritating little Alcohol Stasi and busybody prodnose. Leading to…well, what, exactly?

The complaint has been upheld

And..? What’s the ‘punishment’? I can’t seem to see any, other than a wagging finger or letter of ‘concern’ from a useless little quango that can be safely ignored.

… but Rossendale’s MP Jake Berry condemned the ruling as ‘disappointing’, and the MD of the brewery in Irwell Street said she was saddened, adding they had ‘no idea we were doing anything wrong’.

Well, you aren’t. So just throw the letter in the bin. Or photocopy it on absorbent paper and hang the copies on a hook in the staff loo.

11 comments for “Oh Noes! Whatever Shall We Do?

  1. Mark in Mayenne
    July 26, 2014 at 11:10 am

    Who is this “Portman Group?”

    • Ed P
      July 26, 2014 at 1:03 pm

      It’s a “not for profit” organisation funded by nine brewing/distilling firms (Heineken, Diageo, Bacardi, etc.) which monitors alcohol consumption, drink awareness campaigns, etc.

      So, they’re irritating busybodies then.

      • July 26, 2014 at 3:17 pm

        Sounds as altruistic as gambling firms advising you to bet sensibly…..

        • August 3, 2014 at 7:31 am


  2. Furor Teutonicus
    July 26, 2014 at 11:52 am

    XX But a complaint was made by a concerned resident XX

    Read; “Fucking wee imbicilic, wannabee Gestapo, arselicker.”

    • August 3, 2014 at 7:32 am


  3. Furor Teutonicus
    July 26, 2014 at 11:53 am

    Hmm. Posts seem to be disapearing.

    O.K. As that worked try again;

    XX But a complaint was made by a concerned resident XX

    Read; “wee imbicilic, wannabee Gestapo, areselicker.”

  4. July 26, 2014 at 8:25 pm

    Shaking the head sadly.

  5. Ed P
    July 27, 2014 at 11:57 am



    for a response to the Portentious Group’s meddling righteousness. 😆

    • August 3, 2014 at 7:32 am

      That’s the way to do it! 😛

  6. Viscount Rectum
    July 27, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    Just say fuck off.

Comments are closed.