How to make and keep friends …

When a pundit attacks the global left:

Forget Climategate: this ‘global warming’ scandal is much bigger

… plus the ordinary left, for whom the mantra is “if it’s fun and is traditional, ban it”:

Police warn people could be arrested for throwing SNOWBALLS after receiving hundreds of complaints 

… and the trivialization by the right:

Home-grown fanatics who join ISIS are ‘literally w*****s’ who watch porn because they can’t find girlfriends, blasts Boris Johnson

… as well as the narcissism and fecklessness of the coiffed male:

BBC news reader who had affair with married blonde colleague moves on to another woman with the same colour hair and who also has a husband 

… as well as the lunacy of celebrity women:

Sorry, Gwyneth Paltrow, but steaming your vagina is a bad idea

… as well as the loony adulation of slappers and homewreckers:

Jolie is named the world’s most admired woman

… as well as the greed of ordinarywomen:

The wife who fought him for his millions

… and the utter awfulness of those purporting to support women but are actually undermining them:

Harriet Harman calls for an end to rape blame culture after Mail columnist suggested drunken women weren’t always without reproach in sexual assault cases

… then clearly one is God, Queen and country but when he also attacks the royal family:

Prince Charles’s treacherous household ‘like Wolf Hall’, courtiers say

Beatrice ‘the scrounger’: Unemployed royal under attack for jet set lifestyle after taking three holidays in barely a month 

… the MoD [how about equipping troops with what they actually need]:

British soldiers to be equipped with state-of-the-art battle helmets that give them a Stormtrooper look 

… and those fine specimens above us in the country:

Diplomat Sir Peter Hayman ‘engaged in sexual perversion’

… plus attacking the murderous, evil lunacy of Islam and the western media who so lovingly, eagerly  and graphically rush severed heads and gore to us for our breakfast reading:

Dozens die in wave of ISIS bombings across Iraq as terror group kills Kurdish commander in major attack on Kirkuk

Woman survives stoning execution in Syria and manages to flee when ISIS gunman is stopped from shooting her ‘because it was God’s will that she lived’

… whilst said pundit, at the same time, can’t see what’s wrong with the weed:

Is CANNABIS the secret to acne-free skin? Brand launch range with curious ingredient that promises to sooth skin conditions 

… beyond cancer sticks killing you before your time but feels people need to be free to do it to themselves and added to that, said pundit is dead set against open door immigration:

Rise of the Polish Brits: Number given UK citizenship soars 1,200% in just five years

… and wants the b***ers sent home:

Relief for lecturer’s family as four Polish burglars who savagely beat him during raid on his home ‘after targeting the wrong house’ are jailed for up to 19 years each 

… plus castigating the evil people do when not following some sort of ethical code and falling into a life of slime:

Dark side of fashion: He was fawned over by the fashion world and awarded a CBE. But a new biography of brilliant designer Alexander McQueen reveals that, behind the glamour, lay a man prone to shocking depravity and cruelty 

… plus attacking those who would wreck the family:

Catholic leaders attack law allowing three-parent babies as the procedure involves ‘the destruction of human embryos’

… then it seems to me that one is not going to have all that many friends left.

Which is no reason not to do it, of course.

2 comments for “How to make and keep friends …

  1. Viscount Rectum
    January 31, 2015 at 8:26 am

    Its all to much, just leave me alone with Paltrow and a steam cleaner maybe the world will go away.

    • January 31, 2015 at 9:11 am

      Ah, a Paltrow lecture on ecology whilst making love – nothing better.

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