An Army Of …. What?

Plumbers, heating engineers and meter installers should alert the authorities when they visit a “dangerously cold home” in order to help reduce the toll of winter deaths, new NHS guidelines say.

Because the news that your gas fitter or plumber might be spying on your living arrangements for the government isn’t of any consequence, is it?

It’s to help, you see.

David Sloan, co-chair of the Nice committee which developed the guidance, published on Thursday, said: “Doctors, nurses and other health staff prevent and treat illnesses every day but we are suggesting that thinking about the health effects of cold homes is also their business. This new Nice guideline says that health, social care and other professionals should always take a minute to consider the health risk of cold homes when in contact with patients and clients, and know what steps to take to get help to the people who need it. Action on cold homes can prevent early deaths.”

Yes, of course. This is purely beneficial. We’d never extend it to other purposes, once we got our foot in the door, would we?

Here’s a thought – if this is so altruistic, why not have all these plumbers, heating engineers and gas fitters carry a stack of little leaflets on where to get help to hand out to people? That way, they get to use it if they need it, and the householder gets to seek help if they want to, and the government doesn’t get a compliant army habituated to the idea of snooping.

It’s win/win/win!

11 comments for “An Army Of …. What?

  1. March 10, 2015 at 9:20 am

    I saw this news the other day and thought “Oh goodie” more snoopers! I said to my Himself “more spies in the home, I am sure the elderly will love this plan” and anyway even if your plumber/ handyman does think your home is dangerously cold WTF are they going to do about it, if you can’t afford to heat your home you can’t afford to heat your home, reporting it to some Social worker won’t help unless of course they are going to pay your heating costs, which they won’t. Because it’s more important to keep the immigrants warm! We live in fuel poverty we can’t always afford to have our central heating on and have to resort to many jumpers and 3 pairs of socks. Not so bad for me I am mobile, but himself’s limited mobility makes him very cold. However we would be mortified if the heating engineer told someone and a social worker turned up to stick their oar in.

    • March 15, 2015 at 6:41 am

      Plenty of people would!

  2. ivan
    March 10, 2015 at 10:14 am

    This is just an exercise in finding out who the best snoops are. As Kath says, those not able to heat their houses are also the ones that are very unlikely to be able to afford people such as plumbers, heating engineers and so on – if the need that type of work they will most probably ask a mate.

  3. Brightside Bob
    March 10, 2015 at 10:39 am

    Heating Engineer(or whoever) to householder: “While I’m here, I just need to take a quick look in your fridge/larder – to make sure you’re eating the correct state sanctioned food. Oh & by the way, do you smoke?”

    • March 15, 2015 at 6:41 am

      Spot on! Got to boil that frog very slowly at the start…

  4. bobo
    March 10, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    Perhaps while they’re at it, they could keep an eye out for signs of radicalisation as well. Bingo, a twofer!!!

  5. Hereward unbowed.
    March 10, 2015 at 2:29 pm

    Nanny state will look after you, or else!

    In UtopiaUKland – no one can hear you scream………….

    “Turn that thermostat up old lady” thundered the heating engineer,

    “but I have no money and I can’t afford it”

    “Doesn’t matter!” the plumber shouted,

    “Dave and the NHS ordered you”,

    Gas fitters rools.

    Fahrenheit turn to burn, if the windmills are switched on maybe…

  6. John
    March 10, 2015 at 7:40 pm

    Except that old folks with knackered central heating are hardly likely to be having the boiler man around except to fix it are they?

    Is there some kind of mental retardation problem within the NHS? Where do they find these bloody morons?

    • ivan
      March 10, 2015 at 10:30 pm

      An there is the answer to all the problems with the NHS – idiots in management that have no clew what they are doing, even though they get payed vast sums of money.

  7. Joe Public
    March 10, 2015 at 9:00 pm

    Ring, Ring …. “Hello, Heating Fixers here, how may I help?”

    Householder: “My boiler’s packed up, I want you to fix it”

    HF: “Boiler packed up you say. Does that mean you’ve no heating?”

    HH: “Yup”

    HF: “You do realise that if I come to fix it, to give you heat, I’ve got to report you for having no heat?”

    HH: “Fuck off”

    And that Mr Receiver, is how, despite a crying need for our services, Heating Fixers was forced into bankruptcy.

    • March 15, 2015 at 6:41 am


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