Confessions of a young scumbag

mayallRegarding Nigel’s Queen’s Head lunch affair, I was reading Bishop Hill’s comments and started wondering how far my hypocrisy could extend before coming clean.

Make no mistake – they are scum, as Nige said but the thing is … cough … er … ahem … so was I way back when.

You see, I had this affliction called yoof. I do understand it passed some of you by and some of you were born the fineupstanding adults you are today. Unfortunately, I passed through this yoof phase and was not, by any stretch of the imagination, mature. Some fineupstanding adults even called us wild.

Let me stress that we weren’t out and out crims, we didn’t go about breaking any laws, after all, we were the saviours of the world, the ones soaked, even steeped, in the left narrative, which leads me to reflect that this is not some new phenomenon by any stretch.

It was a combination of a few things. Firstly, we were young and therefore knew everything [a quality which has never departed your humble correspondent].

Secondly, we were [collectively] on the noble weed at the time and the bottle and the ciggies and our moral compasses were … interesting. Everything was a bit of a joke really. Everything was up for trying.

Thirdly, our professors, lecturers and tutors had guided us into Marx, Sorel, Fromm, Trotsky, Lenin, Shaw, Tawney and most of my acquaintance had turned into good little Fabians. We knew nothing of Adam Smith or other such writers. And our simplistic, hole-riddled philosophy we took into everyday life on the street behind the placard and loud chanting. Work for a living? What was that? Explain that one to us.

Didn’t matter what we supported – could have been gay workers of the world or the Nicaraguans – didn’t matter a damn, as long as it was a cause and the word could fit onto a placard. There was a real sense of community at the kitchen table, clearing away last night’s lentil soup and preparing for the demonstration, whilst not fighting for once over who had stolen whose milk and/or food.

We did actually fervently believe in it all once we were at the demo, we never actually called each other comrade a la Rik, it was more an unwritten, understood position we held. And there were genuine grievances, e.g. the way the police had treated the miners. Corporations were raping the world – Jim Morrison would soon confirm that for us. They were all fascists. Not us of course, our imposition on people we never gave a moment’s thought to. If someone did actually take us to task, we’d be the polite schoolboys, except for one of our peripheral members who took it all way too seriously and called the taskmaster unreconstructed, fascist scum.

Above all, it was such fun seeing the easily offended get offended, the fineupstanding adults of the right, the joyless bastards. We’d deliberately provoke, coz we had right on our side, remember. Once there was a tour of restaurants where we’d all stand by the windows in turn, pointing at the food diners were trying to partake of. Then we’d run. Naturally, we were all in costume, as dressing up was half the fun.

That’s how we lived – in that unserious and yet very, very serious frame of mind on world issues, where we had the solution by supporting the banning of something – out of our skulls when we weren’t pretending to study or attend lectures and occasionally when we were. Someone should have taken the whip to us, got some discipline into us.

One day, my housemates came home and were shocked to the core that I’d not been able to stand it any more and had vacuumed, washed and disinfected the whole house [barring their rooms, in which things were growing] and they saw then that I was showing signs of not being one of them.

Looking back at our “music” blasting at all hours of day and night, I can’t for the life of me see why the elderly neighbours next door didn’t call the Bill. They must have been deaf. Or frightened of us.

The end of all this? Gotta job, din I, eh? Started wearing a shirt and tie, often a jacket. As an out-and-out narrativist, right-on, love the trees, bros sort of guy, they entrusted the educating of children to such as me.

Sadly, the things I’d been brought up to believe by my parents started to impinge on the brain – you know, notions such as one lived within one’s means, there was no wealth without producing, keeping one’s house in order. What joyless tits we turned into.

From then on, by degrees, it was all downhill – hell, even marriages got in the way – and today, voila – the end product, a fineupstanding adult, appalled by the leftist scum who did that to Nigel at that pub.

[H/T Chuckles]

5 comments for “Confessions of a young scumbag

  1. March 24, 2015 at 9:27 am

    I think going to university has a lot to answer for ๐Ÿ˜‰

    My partner went to university in his yoof and he too was led to lenin, Trotsky et al he even read The Little Red Book of chairman Mao. Smoked a lot of weed and drank he dabbled in other substances, went on protests and behave in a general studenty way.

    That said however….

    I never went to any institution of higher learning, but read the works of Mao drank smoked and protested, usually about animal testing an saving whales for me though.

    I think most yoof are idealistic and tend to grow out of it once they see a bit of life.

    Himselfs daughter is a prime example of it today, she went on UAF demonstrations, did that ridiculous camping out in Glasgow and thought camping out in our local city square yards from the job centre when she was in receipt of JSA was a fantastic idea. I love her to bits as himselfs daughter but I was utterly relieved when she moved out because her behaviour drove me to distraction it was idealistic cock waffle and I knew eventually she would grow out of it (she too was a student) and both his other children are idealists too.

    My children grew up in a very different way (because of my situation with their father) and were therefore old before their time, they knew idealism and rebellion would cause friction and danger,so they didn’t rebel, yes they went out drinking and did that stuff, but not one of them has any political inclination (to my eternal shame) although now my daughter is a mother she is starting to show signs of interest and my eldest son insists on having his vote even though he is in the army and has to vote by proxy.

    For me the difference today from when we were young is accountability, if I went on a demo it was my fault if I got involved in a fracas NOT the police’s fault that I was breaking the law.
    I don’t object to yooful exuberance but I do object to lack of accountability in today’s yoof.

  2. Custard Cream
    March 24, 2015 at 9:54 am

    That would all be very well if the twits who did this were 19-year-old sociology students, but they weren’t; or, if they were, they were the oldest students in the World.

    These are the sad gits, like most socialists, who don’t want to grow up and remain useful idiots. The ones who do grow up turn into commissars.

  3. March 24, 2015 at 1:06 pm

    That’s the whole thing, is it not? So many of them miss that growing up phase which follows and continue it into Beakerhood or Glasshood.

  4. Voice of Reason
    March 24, 2015 at 1:40 pm

    My experience in the 70’s was a little different. Then again, I studied Mathematics, and most of my close friends were in the Sciences and Engineering. We used to debate and block the leftists, especially the idiot Worker’s Revolutionary Party. We spent an awful lot of time in lectures, dstudying, and doing lab work. There wasn’t time for the ‘intellectual’ stuff like Marx.

  5. Errol
    March 24, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    Yup, been there. I wanted to be a ruddy unionist. Then as you say, eventually you look around and see the desolation, the chaos of the Left. The fact that their theories *just don’t work*. That mankind instinctively rebels against nonsense like Marxism.

    More it was the realisation that I wanted to be proud of providing for myself, for paying my way and that having 50% of my salary taken form me in tax was deeply unfair for what I got back from the state.

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