War looms for ‘Fifth Column’!


Its just an easy drive from Hereford to Rotherham, then fast across to Dewsbury, Bradford, and the rest of the infected areas; then back down the M1 to Luton, London and Tower Hamlets: so it should be completed in about, oh; four-odd weeks! They’ll probably have to arrange a further drop for ammunition, but the R.A.F. can scrape up a C130 at short notice, seeing as the C-17’s are busy repatriating the Tunisian dead.

6 comments for “War looms for ‘Fifth Column’!

  1. Ed P
    July 5, 2015 at 11:27 am

    Charlie Brooker is probably rewriting his zombie drama along these lines right now!

  2. john in cheshire
    July 5, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    All the locations you mention need to be cleansed at the same time to ensure no one escapes.

    • July 5, 2015 at 5:09 pm

      I can see the headlines now. “Police attempt to arrest suspected shoplifters with 60LB Bergens : gunfire in Rotherham : Police Chiefs say it was all part of their planned redundancies” 🙂

  3. July 6, 2015 at 7:42 am

    A job which needs doing.

  4. Mudplugger
    July 6, 2015 at 8:39 am

    During the current heatwave, indigenous Brits in the target areas should be advised to stay out of the sun in order to maintain their natural pallour, making this vital mission easier and avoiding any accidental blue-on-blue casualties.
    For further protection, men are advised to be clean-shaven and women should endeavour to expose the maximum amount of flesh that is culturally acceptable.
    On no account should taxis or private hire cars be used, as these may all be considered legitimate targets.

    • July 8, 2015 at 12:35 pm

      Crap; that means I’ll have to shave for the first time in about thirty-five-odd years!

      Who will save us from these religious nut-and-fruitcakes?

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