As a dedicated observer of the ludicrous ways of modern lives and times, I can now state, categorically, that a new definition for the term ‘DeeerJeeeezus!’ has made its way onto the pages of our national daily newspapers.
Readers, I give you the real reason why this man absented himself from the ‘North Sea Country Club’ a.k.a. H.M. North Sea Camp Prison, and occupied a ‘luxury suite’ at the Cley Hall Hotel, which advertises itself as being conveniently located to enjoy Spalding’s Georgian historical town centre only 4 minutes’ walk, this fenland market town offers intriguing shops, restaurants and bars and the Springfield outlet village only minutes away.
Note the evidence of extreme intellect, the total shunning of popular digital technology for self-advertisement, the modest and self-effacing dress and manner of the woman behind Doug Ward’s need to absent himself from prison so urgently. It is rumoured, though these rumours remain unconfirmed, that she had commented on the discussions in a learned paper which dissected lateral vibrations and damping techniques on bridge structures in London.
Some may say I am being unkind to the woman in the photograph, but, hey, she rings Douglas’ bells; and that, folks, is what makes it worth the 15 months extra sentence in an ordinary slammer.