World semi-exclusive!

As a dedicated observer of the ludicrous ways of modern lives and times, I can now state, categorically, that a new definition for the term ‘DeeerJeeeezus!’ has made its way onto the pages of our national daily newspapers.

Readers, I give you the real reason why this man absented himself from the ‘North Sea Country Club’ a.k.a. H.M. North Sea Camp Prison, and occupied a ‘luxury suite’ at the Cley Hall Hotel, which advertises itself as being conveniently located to enjoy Spalding’s Georgian historical town centre only 4 minutes’ walk, this fenland market town offers intriguing shops, restaurants and bars and the Springfield outlet village only minutes away.

Note the evidence of extreme intellect, the total shunning of popular digital technology for self-advertisement, the modest and self-effacing dress and manner of the woman behind Doug Ward’s need to absent himself from prison so urgently. It is rumoured, though these rumours remain unconfirmed, that she had commented  on the discussions in a learned paper which dissected lateral vibrations and damping techniques on bridge structures in London.

awardofcourtSome may say I am being unkind to the woman in the photograph, but, hey, she rings Douglas’ bells; and that, folks, is what makes it worth the 15 months extra sentence in an ordinary slammer.

4 comments for “World semi-exclusive!

  1. Penseivat
    September 30, 2015 at 5:53 pm

    They are both of the travelling clan and that photograph depicts the height of their sophistication. The fact they blagged one night free of charge at the hotel and tried to get a second night shows the type of people they are. The orange one apparently has form for defrauding a dementia patient. If we have to take in Syrian refugees, can we send this couple there in return. No matter the character of the Syrians, it will be a bloody good exchange.

  2. Ed P
    September 30, 2015 at 9:32 pm

    Is that a photo of the deluxe inflatable doll? Is it available in other colours? Orange is so passe.

  3. wiggia
    October 1, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    From the link it reveals as well as an orange aura, she has breast implants and judging by all the photos a permanent pout implant, I would imagine nourishment is taken intravenously.

  4. Rossa
    October 2, 2015 at 11:33 am

    His ‘extra’ 15 months is concurrent, not consecutive. Hardly a punishment, so what’s the betting he’ll abscond again when it suits him.

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