Better Avoid The Local Dogging Spot, Chaps…

Police in Derbyshire have employed the services of new crime fighter with a knack for sniffing out rapists.

Blimey! It’s not Laurie Penny is it?

While his canine colleagues are off hunting for drugs or explosives, Billie the cocker spaniel’s nose is trained to find DNA evidence used in sex cases.

Billie does it by tracking down traces of human semen.

Ah. Oh, well…

Since March this year Billie has carried out 13 live searches, according to a document drawn up by Derbyshire Constabulary, The Times reported.

And what success has he had?

In one case involving a suspected peeping Tom, the investigation team had found nothing at the crime scene but removed some items, including boards recovered from a loft, to the garden for searching.

“Despite CSI not being able to see any stains via the crime light, the dog indicated several areas on one of the boards. That board has now been seized for laboratory analysis,” the police briefing reads.

Well….that’s not terribly convincing, is it? And I’m assuming that’s one of the better examples?

6 comments for “Better Avoid The Local Dogging Spot, Chaps…

  1. September 25, 2016 at 10:34 am

    It’s all too revolting.

  2. Lord T
    September 25, 2016 at 11:22 am

    So a peeping tom where you want evidence he was there instead they find somewhere where someone had a quick toss off the wrist and use that instead. Poor home owner, or son, is going to have to explain to the missus, or mum, why he tosses off in the loft.

    Sounds like another Plod cockup.

  3. September 26, 2016 at 2:15 am

    How do they calibrate the dog’s nose?

    Do the Police have a properly certified and maintained ‘standard’ wanker?

    • Bucko
      September 26, 2016 at 2:17 pm

      I beleive they have quite a few…

      • September 26, 2016 at 7:16 pm


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