“Nurse, We Need Some Publicity Over Here, STAT!”

Pop star Lily Allen has blamed NHS cuts after her two-year-old daughter impaled her neck on a railing and had to wait in agony to see a doctor in A&E.

The 31-year-old said that her toddler, Marnie, nearly died as she was forced to wait with a life-threatening injury.

‘Nearly died’..? A ‘life-threatening injury’? Let’s ask a medical expert:

Meh. Close enough…

If the kid had been in any real danger, she’d have been seen immediately.

It’s called ‘triage’, a French expression meaning ‘assessing whether mum’s claimed ‘huge hole in my baby’s neck, OMG, HELP!’ is really a small cut that needs a stitch’…

Reliving the 2015 drama (Ed: Hmmm….), she told a News Roast podcast: ‘I called an ambulance and they said it would take half an hour.

‘It was a huge gash in a two year old’s neck. Eventually I hailed a cab and was holding her chin together with a piece of flannel.

‘At the hospital I asked: ‘Where’s A&E for my daughter?’

They replied: ‘Just take a ticket and take a seat.’

‘My daughter had a hole in her neck. You can’t hold it against the doctors and nurses, it is not their fault.’

No, it’s not their fault, it’s their clinical diagnosis that the issue isn’t so serious that it requires immediate attention. Regardless of who you are.

Her latest criticism of the NHS comes four years after she slammed the health service over the lack of attention she received when she gave birth to Marnie, who was two at the time of the 2015 incident.

She wrote on her Twitter: ‘After speaking to the Brent midwifery team at 7 this morning, I was told to stay in all day and someone would be over to weigh my baby and do a jaundice assessment.

Waited all day, and nothing, not even a phone call.

What, you think the ‘cuts’ meant they couldn’t afford the telephone call?

This is not caused by ‘cuts’, this is the bureaucratic incompetence and lack of service for which the NHS is famed. A real journalist would point that out to you.

9 comments for ““Nurse, We Need Some Publicity Over Here, STAT!”

  1. Ed P
    March 12, 2017 at 9:15 am

    Princess Snowflake – Waaahh!

    • March 13, 2017 at 7:01 am

      Spot on!

  2. Judd
    March 12, 2017 at 10:30 am

    Dunno about anyone else, but if i had the funds of these alleged pop stars, i’d have no shame at all in by-passing the overstretched and failing (due in no small way to up to 10 million more people in the country than should be here) NHS, going private and being seen instantly.

    If the rich made more use of the private sector arguably they would be easing the situation for the rest of the population who are not in such a fortunate position, it would be the genuinely charitable things to do.

    • March 13, 2017 at 7:02 am

      I don’t think a private version of A&E exists, but it would certainly have been able to cope with her post-natal care!

  3. John in cheshire
    March 12, 2017 at 11:49 am

    I’d like to see Miss Allen’s definition of the word impaled and an accurate description of the size of this hole in the child’s neck. In addition, where was she when this accident occurred and couldn’t she have prevented it happening?

    • March 13, 2017 at 7:03 am

      Quite! Shouldn’t social services have taken a look? ?

  4. Stonyground
    March 12, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    I would also be interested to know how much money goes into the NHS each year and whether the figure is going up or down. I have a feeling that these cuts might be a figment of the lefty imagination. Is it possible that there are other reasons why the NHS is sometimes a bit rubbish?

    • Ted Treen
      March 12, 2017 at 8:42 pm

      Is it possible that there are other reasons why the NHS is sometimes a bit rubbish?

      It’s just about possible that bringing in many thousands from overseas, many of whom can’t speak English, could have a slight bearing on the matter. In much the same way that on a wet Monday evening at my local, the bar staff are all vying for my attention yet fill the lounge on a Saturday lunchtime, and being served takes ages.

      • March 13, 2017 at 7:04 am

        Got it in one!

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