“We’ll Always Have Pataks…”*

Mr Khan wants ministers to act now and warned that curry houses need 20,000 chefs, waiters and managers, and two to three are closing every week.

Wait, there’s not 20000 unemployed Brits? I’m sure there must be!

Bajloor Rashid, president of the UK-Bangladesh Catalysts of Commerce and Industry, said: “Priti Patel and other people said we would have people to work in the restaurants. They did not honour it. We feel very let down.”

Enam Ali, founder of the British Curry Awards and owner of Le Raj restaurant near Epsom, added: “I don’t think they have delivered yet but I believe they will.”

He wants a three-year visa scheme for chefs as soon as possible.

Why? We’ve got the bloody recipes! What the hell can an illiterate Bangladeshi villager do with curry that a home-grown lad (of Bangladeshi origin or not) can’t?

I don’t insist – if I ever ate it, that is – that I be served pie & mash by a genuine cor-Blimey-guvnor Cockney, so why would I care that the waiter or chef responsible for my chicken Pakora isn’t authentically Indian?

Immigration minister Robert Goodwill has suggested that more people should be trained in Britain as curry chefs.

Well, quite! I mean, I went to a US ribshack restaurant the other week for ribs, pulled pork, cornbread, etc. The food was lovely, and I very much doubt it’d have been any nicer served by Cajuns, rather than Eastern Europeans…

* with thanks to Tim Almond for the title

7 comments for ““We’ll Always Have Pataks…”*

  1. May 14, 2017 at 12:13 pm

    Make ’em ourselves.

  2. Ed P
    May 14, 2017 at 1:49 pm

    Make it at home. That way you know it’s chicken or whatever, not roadkill or worse (e.g., domestic animal or rat).
    And as most “Indians” in Britain are actually Bangladeshi, i.e., oily, unsubtle spices, dubious contents, etc., homemade is so much better.

  3. auralay
    May 14, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    Quite right. Welsh cooks can make a very tidy curry.
    Best eaten with “half & half”.

  4. mona
    May 14, 2017 at 3:45 pm

    Curried snot and mice shit great, seen some of the photo’s taken by Health & Safety officials of some of these curry dens. Love cooking, so much choice in curried dishes and you know what is in it, cook it yourself.

  5. May 15, 2017 at 5:30 am

    Knowing what goes in is the issue – I don’t eat out now.

  6. Bob H
    May 15, 2017 at 9:24 am

    Many years ago I was engaged to fit a loft hatch and ladder in a curry house. I pointed out that the location was directly over the food preparation table.
    The owner, who barely spoke any English, just shrugged his shoulders and told me to get on with it.

    The property was very old and the loft was covered in bird crap and soot which all showered down over the kitchen equipment. He didn’t give a damn.

    Needless to say we never ate there, nor did any of our friends.

  7. Andrew
    May 16, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    “two to three are closing every week.” Good, the reason being partly that people aren’t paying cash anymore as they don’t carry it.

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