No, that bruise was from the second time I hit you.

Long time back, living in Cape Town, South Africa, I was seated in our flat, relaxing on a Saturday afternoon; when I heard screams from next door through the open window. I ran out and into next door, where my mate and his wife lived. I found my mate’s wife prone on the floor of the living room, with my mate, normally a placid, easy-going man; kneeling across her with his hands around her neck, strangling her. I kicked him in the head, stunning him, and rescued his wife; leading her into our own flat, where my wife comforted her as I returned to confront my mate, who of course was blind drunk. I belted him again with the butt of his revolver; hauled him into the bedroom, and laid him on the bed to sleep it off. His wife, tearful but grateful, explained, ‘Harry can drink beer all day long, and you get nothing but a lazy smile: let him start on the brandy, and he loses all control’.


I tackled him the next morning, and he asked me what I was talking about, as he could not remember anything.


So I can understand the situation when an 85 year-old father has to shoot his son, in self-defence!

3 comments for “No, that bruise was from the second time I hit you.

  1. Errol
    August 9, 2017 at 7:31 pm

    No, that’s just gormless am-uhricahns not being grown up enough to boot someone.

  2. August 10, 2017 at 11:48 am

    The fun vee haf.

  3. Penseivat
    August 10, 2017 at 7:40 pm

    This reminds me of the court case involving Stephen Gerrard, who was accused of assault. The circumstances were that he felt he was going to be assaulted and so hit the ‘perpetrator’ 3 times. The prosecution case was that one blow was self defence but 3 constituted an assault. Gerrard was declared not guilty by a jury in Liverpool Crown Court. Mind you, I would hate to be the Liverpool juror who felt that the Captain of Liverpool Football Club was guilty.

Comments are closed.