There are sayings that “You can never go home again.” or “You can’t cross the same river twice.” and now ten years after Mrs S and I began our Canadian adventure I find there is much truth in them. Having gone back to blighty on five separate occasions, visiting places where I grew up only to find a chilly welcome and a “Oh, what’re you doing back here?” No one wants to know you. Old work mates make repeated excuses to not have a beer and a chin wag like you used to, even when you’ve spent thousands to go and see them. When you meet people you thought were good friends it’s a little spooky to watch their faces close down when you say “Hi.”
I tried to give an answer – everyone’s in the here and now, with the minutes of everyday counted. Someone else not in the current ratrace is just an added issue to negotiate for most people. We’ve mapped out the coming week, have to go here, there, everywhere.
It’s not good, you know you want to have the time for everything but keep getting drawn into things which have to be done each day, each week. And so the weeks shoot by, hanging out for Friday.
I’ve been wanting to get to Grandad, Bill, others on the roll, I want to comment at Mike’s and Julia’s, and something just prevents it – lack of organization? I swear it’s not that I don’t want, I’m quite onside with them, with most of you – it’s just finding the minutes before crashing out, exhausted. For example, I’ll be in hospital today in another city.
Twitter certainly helps – I can stay close to Julia there, Leggy, many others, wish Mike were there, FB is useless as one needs to sign in and the navigating is so hard … or so I find and FB have these 98 people to see and so on, most whom I’ve never known and FB considers are friends of friends of friends.
Instagram? Have to be kidding. Phone? Skype? I can’t, for medical reasons.
Bill needs to understand it might not be him that’s the issue with his mates at all, it could well be just the pressure from living, from commitments.
It’s no way to live, we should always be able to make time. It’s not even prioritizing and valuing some people more. It’s not that.
Email helps but that seems more impersonal to me than blogs and Twitter. I don’t know the solution to what Bill’s speaking of and I know it does hurt to see a falling face when you see someone again. I know that feeling well, but that’s OK, we make our own bed to lie in.