My Concerns Are For The Centaurs Banned From Using Newmarket Gallops…


A mermaid called Stacie is calling on council chiefs to think again about their ban on allowing merpeople to swim in the city’s public pools.

And Stacie Orban is also appealing for anyone else who shares her passion for swimming with a tail rather than human legs to get in touch, so she can form something of a community of merpeople in the Bristol area.

What a time to be alive…

Mermaid tails are currently prohibited from pools in Bristol and South Gloucestershire, but Stacie said even the most sophisticated silicone ones are only about as restrictive or unsafe as the average normal diving gear.

You know, I’m pretty sure that’s banned in swimming pools too….

Because regular swimming pools do not allow mermaids, Stacie has to go wild swimming – often to locations far away in the sea, rivers, or outdoor waterways.

And she said that this ends up being even more dangerous, as the locations themselves are not as safe an environment as an indoor pool.

That’s your decision, love. Don’t think blackmail’s going to work.

This also means she’s been unable to find anyone else within the mermaid community to meet up with.

“I actually don’t know any other mermaids from Bristol other than myself at the moment,” she said.

What the hell? Why is every collection of whackos and nutjobs with some tiny niche interest now ‘a community’?

What does Stacy do in her work hours, I wonder?

Stacie, a cleaning operative from Yate, said local authorities here should be more accepting of mermaids, because allowing them to try it out will be the best way to see it is safe.

Ah. She’s a charwoman. I guess ‘community’ isn’t the only misnomer…

H/T: DefenceBrief via Twitter

6 comments for “My Concerns Are For The Centaurs Banned From Using Newmarket Gallops…

  1. Hereward Unbowed.
    February 21, 2018 at 9:29 am

    Ohh baybeee! Sell your unicorn horn collection and buy your own pool, dahlink.

    I have seen these types of ‘double fins’ instead of individual flippers, if you are idiot enough to prevent free movement of your legs whilst in water, then either you have gills or maybe a half dolphin body with muscles to match.

    Or, muscles in your brain.

  2. Ed P
    February 21, 2018 at 9:29 am

    This is sexist – who’ll stand up for the mermen?
    (It’s not easy to stand up in a tail, but that’s another tale. I’ll get me coat.)

  3. February 21, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    Good Lord!

  4. February 21, 2018 at 3:05 pm

    But…. but…. she identifies as a mermaid. The Council is discrinimating agin’er.

  5. Anon
    February 22, 2018 at 8:51 am

    April fool comes earlier every year.

  6. Ted Treen
    February 22, 2018 at 4:20 pm

    Another member of the fruitcake community.

Comments are closed.