‘Juliet Bravo’ Has A Lot To Answer For…

Hampshire Constabulary has announced the appointment of a new Assistant Chief Constable.

If you’re now picturing a grizzled old thieftaker with a bottle of whisky in his top drawer and a no-nonsense attitude to policing, well, think again…

ACC Maggie Blyth, who started her policing career with the force just 4 years ago, is returning to Hampshire after serving in the same role with Wiltshire Police.

Yes, that’s not a typo. She’s been in the job less time than I’ve had a Netflix account.

Chief Constable Olivia Pinkney (Ed: anyone else sensing a pattern emerging?) said:

“I am delighted to announce that Maggie will be returning to Hampshire Constabulary as an Assistant Chief Constable for Local Policing and Public Protection.

“She already has an excellent understanding of our force, having been a district commander in Portsmouth and we are looking forward to her taking up her new post.”

And what amazing qualities does she bring to the role?

“Having worked with Maggie, I know her exceptional leadership skills, partnership and vulnerability background will be a great benefit to the force.”

Anyone know what a ‘vulnerability background’ is..? And why it would be necessary for this role?

Anyone? Bueller?

4 comments for “‘Juliet Bravo’ Has A Lot To Answer For…

  1. Penseivat
    May 27, 2020 at 11:22 am

    Apparently, Maggie was promoted to Inspector after 6 months, which means she was still on probation, which lasts for 2 years.
    Assuming she would have spent 10 weeks at a Police training school, and 3 months at a senior officer’s college, this leaves her less than 2 weeks on the beat, which is hardly long enough to find her way into town and back to the Police station.
    This appears to be the future of Policing in this country, thanks to Dim Dave Cameron and Treason May. First, having to complete a 2 year course of Police studies, in your own time and expense, before even applying to join the Police, and now requiring a degree for new entrants.
    Common sense, self discipline, ability to use initiative, and being able to think on your feet, are no longer considered suitable attributes, while degrees in philosophy, the history of vegetarianism, or art appreciation are.
    Some years ago, when I was in the Job, we had a new recruit who had a degree in sociology. After the briefing, he was given a beat to walk on the outskirts of town. Because it was a mile or so from the Police station, he literally stamped his foot and said, “Shan’t. It might rain later today.”
    That man ended up as a Chief Superintendent and I don’t think he ever made one arrest or had to give evidence in court.
    It’s said we get the Police we deserve. I’m now out of it, but you lot must have been really bad!

  2. Ed P
    May 27, 2020 at 8:40 pm

    A vulnerability background could be
    (a) She/Ze had nasty people say things behind her/zer back
    (b) She/Ze has a fat behind
    (c) She/Ze had to endure an upbringing that wasn’t privileged
    (d) She/Ze is useless at her job, but will be tolerated/promoted because of (a) to (c) above

  3. May 28, 2020 at 2:40 am

    ‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello. Who said you could have a boggled mind then? Come along with me now, I think my Assistant Chief Cuntstaple wants a word with you.

  4. Doonhamer
    May 28, 2020 at 10:05 am

    Honestly, what conscientious person would want to join this public service.
    If you are not being propelled up the ranks within a year of two, you may as well get out or settle down to a quiet life as a box ticker and learner of procedure and the latest fashion in being PC, retire asap and then do something satisfying. Oh, and learn how to say “ma’am” without an air of contempt.

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