I Like This Sauce For The Goose…

A major in the British Army accused of raping a female captain after a Burns night supper has been cleared today after telling a court martial that he could not remember having sex with her because he was so drunk.


After a panel of senior officers cleared the Afghanistan veteran today, Maj Beaton burst into tears, with Judge Advocate General Jeff Blackett saying Parliament should review the law around cases when neither party can remember what has happened.

The judge said: ‘You have been found not guilty by this board. It is intolerable that this case has taken so long to get to court and that is unacceptable.

‘This was an unusual case because neither party can remember having sex.’

Which isn’t that unusual an element. It’s just that in civilian courts, only the man is expected to behave as if sober at all times.

During the police investigation his army lawyer advised him to give a ‘no comment’ interview but Beaton insisted he had nothing to hide.

Giving evidence, he told the court: ‘I had nothing to hide, I had no reason to. I knew there hadn’t [been a rape].’

I bet there’s more than a few feminists whose minds are still struggling with that concept.

5 comments for “I Like This Sauce For The Goose…

  1. Mark
    August 21, 2020 at 12:41 pm

    Wake up hungover dressed as Rameses II with a shaved head and your dick painted green wondering what the fuck happened.

    I don’t think there are many of us without some similar experience in our shady past.

    Not many can have had it plastered all over the media though. One can imagine the nicknames that followed!

    • August 23, 2020 at 6:56 am


  2. The Jannie
    August 21, 2020 at 1:40 pm

    So why was he charged in the first place? Who made a complaint?

  3. August 22, 2020 at 1:56 am

    If she could not remember any sex taking place, why was she allowed to accuse a man of rape and why was she believed? Why wasn’t she charged too? Will she now be charged with falsely accusing him?

    • August 23, 2020 at 6:56 am

      In a real justice system, yes. She would be.

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